Sweet 'n' Sour

The minute Charlotte was born - 9:14 a.m. - my life changed.

I'd just gotten used to playing house with my husband.  We were like kids, inclined to sleep late, leaving dirty dinner dishes in the sink 'til morning, going out to eat when the urge struck. Now, not only was it impossible to finish the dishes, but I couldn't fold laundry, go to the bathroom or go anywhere without her crying, without her always needing something else.

One night during that first upside-down week at home with Charlotte, I exploded when my husband came through the door. "If she has a baby when she's like sixteen, I'm not helping her with it!" He looked very puzzled. "After all the years of taking care of her," I sobbed, trying to explain,  "I'll want my life back. I don't like this new one very much."

She's almost sixteen now. She hasn't had a baby but she does have a boyfriend. He came over for dinner last week and they both helped with the dishes afterwards. She's talking about college. Sometime during her fifth grade year, I was stunned to realize that 6,570 days of full-time parenting is all you get: 18 years times 365 days. At that point I was already halfway through my tenure as Charlotte's full-time parent. I cried hard. Now 1,095 is all that is left. How will I adjust to the change when she leaves?

Lisa, Norwich, VT, part-time crepe maker, full-time mom

Sweet

From the moment he was born, I was infatuated. He emerged with perfectly muscled little arms, and his skin was the color of flame that burns closest to the wick. 

As he grew, he would say amusing things. One summer day when he was three, we strolled through a graveyard and he remarked that the man with an enormous monument must have had a huge head. Yes, a large ego, I replied. He laughed at the funny sound of ego. 

By the time he was five, he was known for his catch phrases – “A world without donuts is madness”, “When you turn TV off, you turn me off”, “White Castle – it’s worth the wait”. Yes, he watches TV, plays video games, and eats junky food, probably more than he should. But I try to surround him with subtle touches of beauty (macaroni and cheese on an antique Japanese porcelain plate) and kindness (never too tired to listen, help, fetch or find). He recognizes these things, and appreciates them. 

He’s now 13, so my terms of endearment like Dandy Lion or Baby Grand are used less and less, but my infatuation hasn’t diminished. I believe that my role, as his mother, is to help him appreciate the beauty in all things, to impart beauty onto all that he touches, and to have a heart full of compassion. So far, I think I’ve done well by him, and that makes me very happy.

- Lisa, Columbus, Ohio, maker & seller of designy tschoskies for 20 years