Sweet and Sour

If you asked me if I wanted to relive the first 2 months of my son’s life, I would reply, "Never again!" Two months of almost divorce, always crying, never sleeping (both of us). I loved when he nursed, it meant quiet, a break for me, I’d watch TV, he might even fall asleep! Otherwise, I had the apparently only child that cried in the stroller and wanted to be carried. People would look if I let him cry, so I’d carry him in one arm, pushing with the other, getting unexpectedly very tired arms. Setting him down oh so gently to keep him asleep – and it wouldn’t work and starting over again.

He is almost five, a character, so social, always negotiating with me! We watched a dvd of him at 2 years, last night. We found it by accident. My god, how sweet, how sweet to relive those moments and see them from a different perspective. Pudgy, curls in his hair, that baby-speak, that frantic running to get a toy, stepping on a children’s chair, on tippy toes to turn lights on and off! Is that him? Wow, an angel, my sun, my world. I can’t believe he will ever understand how I love him until he has a child of his own. I never did.

Pamela, Portland, OR and Jakarta, Indonesia, NGO Worker